Harshi Pannala Q2 #4: The American A
With the semester coming to an end and my Aeries being as frightening as it is, naturally I have put excessive thought towards my grades. I have had sleepless nights worrying about how a B might be the difference between me living comfortably in the future and me living paycheck to paycheck. It is an extreme thought but that’s how it feels when all I do is live and breathe school. I know I’m not the only one though.
According to the Nemour Children’s Health survey, 64% of children 9-13 years old in America worry about school. Is it not worrisome that their concerns don’t revolve around whether or not they’ll be able to view the 7 p.m. airing of Jessie. Now, this is by no means an America-specific flaw but there has to be some correlation.
If I analyze the reason for my paranoia I would have to relate it to my parents. Disclaimer: they really don’t push academics onto me and make it my life’s purpose. However, when you grow up learning the struggles your parents have endured to provide the life you have, there is a slight need to prove their past sacrifices were not in vain. Their mindset of work and work… and work resembles a defining characteristic of American culture—nonstop ambition... and work. Probably because the economy requires it but also because of the nation’s history.
The way I see it, that report card is my only indication of whether I will make it. To see an A, is to feel approval and it provides me some proof that I am on track with the American dream. It’s dramatic and not true but when society constantly measures an individual’s achievements, it’s difficult not to internalize the validation.
Historically, this drive to outperform has led to numerous innovations and progress—so clearly there’s a positive because where would I be without my beloved cell-phone created by the ambitious innovator. However, it also fuels anxiety into the future generation who quietly hide it or clearly display it. I should probably apologize to Mr. Maverick who’s been witness to a few too many of my crashouts.
I think that contradiction is the most interesting. The same national spirit that made the U.S. so powerful has created a crippling culture where rest and mediocrity feel like giving up.
This is the study I referenced: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/kids-worry-school-psychiatrist-shares-tips-ease-anxiety/
Hello Harshi, frankly I found your blog INCREDIBLY relatable, seriously I genuinely felt the academic stress pooling in my gut just reading your blog, in a good way though. I completely agree as someone whose parents don't necessarily push academics onto them, I can relate to the feeling to need to prove yourself and validate their efforts. Just the other day my neighbors grandfather told me how he thought I was so smart and so good at studying and he hoped that everytime someone mentioned my name in a room they would be made aware of how driven I was, and then the thought came to me. What if I get more than one B? Frankly I've never had a 4.0 and have always had a 3.8 and one class always gets me. Freshman year it was french, sophomore year it was chemistry and god knows (although hopefully none) what class it will be this year. I completely understand your stress, during finals last year I lost six pounds in two weeks because I was so stressed out I just couldn't eat, I kept thinking to myself that getting my arm broken, or losing my phone, or having a fire down the street would be more bearable than getting more than one B, so yes the stress kill us but it makes us stronger in the end, and to cope with the stress I like to think that we're all in the same boat.
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ReplyDeleteHello, Harshi! I love how your blog managed to capture the pros and cons of our current schooling system/society, and our anxieties. I think that the pressure to succeed is one not shared by us Americans, but by the global society as a whole, and our current world has created. Globalization has made us realize that for as much advancement in the world there is, there is an equal part of the world where there is suffering, where the average person has to toil and work like a slave just to live on. Technology has spread information, information that has shown us that not everyone is born with the privileges we have, and that we need to struggle as much as we can so that we do not have to suffer ourselves. It’s especially apparent in America because as a nation comprised of immigrants, everyone is here because they want to have a good life, and our parents are proof of that. The combination of wanting to validate our parents’ efforts as well as a fear of failure drives us, and I don’t necessarily hate the report card for putting that into a quantitative measurement. Aside from that, I think that when it comes to the average American, I would have to disagree with your assertion that the mindset is all work. I view it as a mad scramble to remain above the wave, to not be mediocre, as to maintain the privilege of being American.
While I concur that academic stress relates to our pursuit of the American Dream, I would like to assert that the biggest factor is actually the culture immigrant parents carry with them to the U.S. It is not the “American A;” rather, it is the “Asian A.”
ReplyDeleteMost of us can feel, or at least relate to, the influence that Asian parents have when it comes to academic stress. This doesn’t necessarily have to manifest in a way as direct as wanting all A’s or constantly checking Aeries (another “A!”) to look at our grades, but the competitive environment Asian-American high schoolers in the Bay Area experience cannot be denied. Your parents, like you said, may not push school as your life’s only purpose, but that mindset is easily internalized because of the way we have been socialized. When all of our peers anxiously pursue that 4.0, we adopt that behavior as well.
The implied expectation that we children need to measure up to the success our parents have achieved to live in America is another major factor as well. Adding on to your discussion, I think that the high-stakes test culture in many Asian countries affects not only our parents but us as well. Growing up with the stressful stories they tell about studying for a nationwide exam, we naturally associate good test scores with a successful future. Definitely, it’s a toxic mindset, which I’m sure we all know, but that doesn’t mean we’ve succumbed to it any less.
And yes, I do remember your first blog! I’m not sure if this was intended, but this blog’s image feels a lot more cluttered, perhaps an indication of the finals-cramming stress? I personally feel very stressed!
Hi Annie! I actually didn't intentionally choose a messier image but I guess my subconscious chose it for a reason. The stress probably got to me but it's fine because it's WINTER BREAK now!
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