Harshi Pannala Q2 #3: Not About the Money
The other day my aunt called my dad hysterically; she was so upset about what her son wanted to do. My cousin, who lives in India (Hyderabad if you care to know), is going to finish his junior year of college. He recently announced to the family that he wanted to come to America after he finishes his Bachelor’s. Naturally, the thought of having a family member flip their entire life around by moving halfway across the world is slightly daunting. However, I had faith my dad would support my cousin’s aspirations. My dad, too, dreamed of moving to America and obtaining the American dream. To my surprise, my dad started crashing out; he seemed to forget he was once in my cousin’s position.
My dad laid out a plethora of reasons for why it was unfavorable to move to the United States at this time—too much money, visa issues, and feelings of isolation. I wanted to know why my cousin wanted to work in the U.S. so badly since no one else seemed to ask him. So I called him the next day. His answer to my question was quite contradictory to my dad’s concern; he felt isolated in India. My cousin is gay, which is definitely a taboo topic in our family and in India. Although his situation is a bit difficult for me to interfere in since he isn’t comfortable announcing, it did evoke me to reflect on the societal differences in the United States.
When I see how many people (both in real life and social media) feel pressure to conform and not express their sexuality because they see others receiving hate, it makes me think of society as closed off and awful. However, in comparison America is much more accepting of those who don’t necessarily fit this ridiculous “norm.” That being said, we as a nation have strides to make before we can be seen as the “model society.”
I’ve always focused on the discrimination and constant debates revolving around identity online. But hearing my cousin talk made me understand that, despite its flaws, America can still offer a sense of possibility that feels out of reach for him back home. What I see as an imperfect society, he sees as a place where he can finally breathe.
In that aspect I suppose America is appealing for more than just the opportunity to become rich. It also provides people the ability to express themselves wholeheartedly without hiding behind whispered conversations. The American dream is no longer tied only to money or career growth; it’s also about being able to live honestly.
Hi Harshi I appreciated your take on immigration to the big US of A. I admired your empathy as you were able to put yourself in your father's and cousins shoes to understand both their points of view. Your historical references (okay well not really historical but you get my point) were profound as I realized that nowadays people don't just immigrate to the USA for its economic opportunities but they also immigrate for its social mobility, and acceptance of a (somewhat) wide variety of races, sexualities, genders. I also admired your ability to understand America's appeal. As citizens and our geographical location in Fremont, a hub of diversity, we often forget about America's appeal to foreigners as their countries are often unwelcoming and unsafe, or they feel limited by their countries strict moral and social code and hierarchy. I admire your empathy as always Harshi and implore you to continue utilizing it in your writing.
ReplyDeleteHi Harshi! I relate to your blog post a lot, as my sister is a part of the LGBTQ community. We were both brought up in the Western world, and I definitely agree with your cousin that America (at least a good part of our country) seems to be more accepting of queer people. But I can also see and understand where your father is coming from, as it seems like recently people have become less accepting of others’ views and lifestyles. I recently heard that SCOTUS is planning to revise Obergefell v. Hodges (which is the case that legalized gay marriage nationwide), and it really disheartens me. America has always taken the title of the “freedom nation” with honor, but it seems like we are just throwing it away!
ReplyDeleteCompared to India, America is much more progressive. Which is silly to me because before colonization, Indian society was extremely open and accepting of different sexualities and gender identities. It really provides insight into how colonization has changed how people around the world view different things.
I enjoyed reading your post as I was able to relate your situation to my own. I hope your cousin manages to move to America and is able to find a community that welcomes him with open arms!
Hi Harshi! Thank you for choosing such a unique perspective on immigration to the US: as an immigrant who came to the US thanks to my dad’s line of work, I’ve never really thought about other reasons for people to emigrate to the US from developing countries like India, but your brother’s story showed me some more! I really agree with your point that even though America is much more accepting of LGBTQ rights and diversity in general compared to other developing countries, we still have some progress to make. However, with Trump’s immigration policies, immigration to the US seems scarier than ever for immigrants across the world, with people from developing countries instead choosing to emigrate to Europe or even stay home. As for your writing, I think your use of a personal anecdote (through your brother) really helped drive your point home, because it tied your argument to a real person. You also use a lot of emotionally charged diction, such as the “ridiculous ‘norm’” and “society as…awful,” which demonstrates the severity of the issue in developing countries like India. Thank you for a fantastic and thought-provoking piece!
ReplyDeleteTo be really candid with you, when I first saw the image and read the title I thought you were going to talk about Rainbow Capitalism, but this is an interesting turn of events. I found it ironic that one of the cons of moving your dad listed was isolation while your cousin was actually trying to move to escape it.
ReplyDeleteBut, most importantly, I wish your cousin all the best and I am glad he trusts you enough to tell you the real reason for wanting to move to the United States. I can’t imagine the struggle I would have to endure if I lived in a country where being queer was not as accepted; all the power to him in realizing his identity and wanting to be able to express it freely.
Also, I want to recommend this little website called queering the map (queeringthemap.com) to your cousin (if he doesn’t know of it already) which has made me feel a little less lonely myself; despite living in a very accepting area it was difficult for me to find people like me I could befriend in my first few years of coming to terms with who I am. The website basically consists of users anonymously pinning a message onto a map that relates to their experience with queerness, usually somewhere near where they live. Just a heads up though, there are some people who write about adult topics on there, but it is mostly very wholesome.
But that’s just a little thing I thought your cousin would appreciate. Regardless, great job with your blog as always!
Thank you Lemon! I'll make sure to send him the link!
Delete