Ranvir Thapar Blog 3: Romance PMO
For those of you who don’t know or are blessed with the ability to stay off instagram and control yourselves, national boyfriend day was last Friday (October 3rd) and oh my god was that ragebait.
I understand it ok, I’m not some soulless monster that hates anything and everyone that has something to do with romance, but really what is the point of posting it on your story that you’re dating someone when the whole world already knows!
I blame Hollywood.
The movies they produce set these unrealistic expectations such as all guys look like Ryan Gosling from “Crazy, Stupid, Love” with his shirt off in the dirty dancing scene. Or the fact that we (guys) have endless safes of money that are just waiting to be spent buying flowers and big expensive gifts for someone who might not even be the love of our lives!
That's not romance, that’s infatuation.
While the formal definition of infatuation is an intense short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something; I characterize the way my generation acts as infatuation not romance. Like what happened to chivalry, and gentlemen?!?! Is it taboo to hold a door open these days, walk on the outside of a girl when walking on a sidewalk, or compliment her with something more than “Hey, you hella bad.”
We are witnessing the downfall of an entire generation, love is far off, we don't even know how to act around people of the opposite gender. Social media has misconstrued how to be a good person or a desirable mate to the point where people think it's uncool to act a certain way to be a gentleman. In essence the prevailing sentiment for youth these days is to be nonchalant.
Well I’m sorry, but I can’t. Posting instagram stories on national boyfriends day doesn’t prove anything. It’s not how you portray yourself and your relationships to the outside world whether it's on social media or in real life; romance and love were never meant to be nonchalant, it was meant to be the most chalant, innocent, and pure feelings in the world. My generation really needs to get back on track and the fall and demise of chivalry really needs to be studied because those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it.
Ranvir, I completely agree with the arguments made in this post. I personally hate the “nonchalant” epidemic; you are supposed to show emotions towards the people that you love! I also feel like the “infatuation” that you describe in your post could also be how teenagers tend to show affection. A lot of these relationships are people’s firsts, and they usually do not know how to feel other than intense infatuation for the other person. The social media-fication of relationships has ruined them for everyone. I feel like our need to be accepted by people on the internet definitely influences the “need” to be in a romantic relationship with another person. Next year, you will catch me rolling my eyes with you at these posts!
ReplyDeleteWhenever I read your blogs I know I’m in for a minute and a half of entertainment because of the way you wield informal tone and attitude! It makes your narrative voice very recognizable.
ReplyDeleteI relate to the assertion you make about people these days not knowing how to talk to members of the opposite gender; since I don’t have one of those it technically means everyone opposite to me, which makes things even more complicated between me and anyone I interact with. This lack of chalant-ness possessed by our generation is an important point (with the higher rates of social anxiety also taken into consideration), as it is part of the heightened loneliness everyone is said to have been experiencing in the past few years. This makes me less surprised that both you and Anshina wrote about shifting our goal away from being cool and to instead meaning what we say and expressing our genuine feelings.
Something that stuck out to me a bit is that your blog would benefit from an em dash between “infatuation” and “not romance” in the second paragraph to give more impact to the phrase. But either way, good job!
Ranvir, I love how you utilize tone in your blogs; it feels like every time I read one of your blog posts, I’m watching a conversation unfold in front of my eyes. While I, who am somewhat of a loner, have little to no qualification to agree or disagree with just about anyone regarding relationships, I absolutely agree with you. I feel that social media has caused many people to disregard kindness in pursuit of trends and short-term fame. This is unacceptable, morals and good character cannot degrade with the onset of social media. As for topics like people having infatuations, I do think that social media has increased the amount of those types of relationships, but maybe because I used to read a lot of history and epics, I don’t feel like the concept of relationships driven by material reasons is an entirely new concept that exploded into existence with the advent of social media. Regardless, we (as a whole) need to get it back together.
ReplyDeleteYour title is hilariously concise and direct, and I’m sure a lot of people can relate to your sentiment too. I personally like to classify the kinds of posts you speak of under the category of “obnoxious PDA” because, frankly, I don’t want to wake up to one-thousand-million “love you bb!” Instagram stories. On the other hand, I was a bit surprised while reading this article as you expressed your passionate disapproval for modern romance--I remember you replying under one of Anshina’s blogs that you’re a “hopeless diehard romantic.” I get it though; real life love will never match the movies I fear…
ReplyDeleteI think Shari brings up a good point about how social media is influencing the way we view relationships today. In my opinion, a huge part of the appeal of being a modern relationship isn’t even necessarily about finding your other half; it’s a way for people to feel validated, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, many rush to find romance simply due to feeling left out when they witness their friends’ relationships on social media.