Anshina Verma Q1 Blog #4 - The Indifference Epidemic
Hey, do you wanna hang out later?” I say my trying to keep the quiver out of my voice. My hands shake, sweat coating my palms. My pulse speeds, I can practically feel the sweat stains on my shirt already. Is my hair okay? Frizzy? Yes. Crap. What about my outfit? Dammit. My socks don’t match. Wait, why haven’t they said anything yet?
The unsuspecting suspect slowly lifts their head to meet my anxious gaze. “Sure,” they say, shrugging their shoulders.
Sure.
Sure!
Sure?
They said yes, didn’t they? Didn’t they? Or did they really? I stare back, trying to force some excitement back into my voice. “Great! I think we should go get boba. Hmm, or do you wanna go-” I ramble frantically.
“Hey, I have to go.”
Go.
Go?
Go where? I see my friend sling their backpack over their shoulder and walk off. Were they listening? They heard me. Right? I gaze wistfully at their retreating form as they run off to join their other friends. Yeah, they’re not hanging out with me, are they? But they said sure!
Sure.
I hate the word sure. I find it to be one of the most derogatory words in the English language. Every single time I’ve heard that word leave another person’s lips, it's been a soft “no.” No, they don’t want to hang out with me. No, that they don’t want to call later, no, no, no.
But why doesn’t anybody say no anymore? Why do they just say “sure?” They keep me guessing, wondering, waiting, hoping they’ll show up and acknowledge me. The word is a coward's way out. I’ve never had a good experience with it.
“Wanna hangout?”
“Sure.”
Seriously??
“Are we okay?”
“Sure.”
Are you kidding me.
I find its existence cruel. To throw the word’s feigned nonchalance in the face of someone honest and genuine. It’s disrespectful to say the least. So why do I hear it so often? My excitement is often crushed, with a dull “sure.”
My bubbly personality is a key aspect of my identity. I view it as a shield, a buffer against a world so unwilling to show emotion, empathy, or kindness in any form. Regardless, I put myself out there.
“Do you wanna hang out?”
“Sure.”
I can practically feel the enthusiasm drain from my body.
The world is a way for people to keep their power. In today’s generation, caring isn’t cool anymore; being unaffected is. Floating above the weight of everyone’s expectations is what is viewed as true power. Thus explaining the dreaded “sure” I can’t seem to escape from.
But why? Why is it encouraged that we turn into this unfeeling and banal shell of ourselves? What happened to caring? What happened to “Yes! Let’s hang out tomorrow, I’m free!”
I think it's about time we stop hiding behind “sure” and start saying what we mean or meaning what we say.
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Anshina: Hey Anshina! I genuinely loved your blog, it’s so so relatable: I hate hearing all the evasive answers today’s teenagers have come up with just to prevent hurting someone’s feelings, usually resulting in the exact opposite. I love your (extensive) use of one-word paragraphs, and the varied punctuation adds a touch of indignation and humor to it. I believe that the overuse of the word “sure” comes from people’s desires to be “non-chalant” which I think Ranvir wrote about in his blogs at one point; more and more teenagers are realizing that that’s not a sustainable way to live because we’re always worried about what other people think of us. I for one love your genuineness and excitement, and I hope you keep it in the future instead of focusing on just being cool. I also love your use of vivid imagery! It goes really well with your one-word paragraphs to create descriptive and impactful writing. You mention floating above everyone’s expectations: I think everyone’s expectations today are that people should be non-chalant, so we’re actually doing the exact opposite of our intentions when we try to appear cool (if that makes any sense lol).
ReplyDeleteHey Anshina! I relate so much to your blog this week—which is a bit hypocritical of me, because I just responded to three texts with “ok sure.” That gray area of what “sure” really means puts me on edge and leaves me shaking in my boots. I start going down a downward spiral of not-so-positive thoughts. “Does everyone hate me?” It’s not a state of mind I want to have often. In some aspects I believe these mild phrases represent a larger epidemic of weakly opinionated people. While I wish people could be more opinionated like you, I have to admit I fall into that category. I promise to work on it, because frankly, it annoys me as well.
ReplyDeleteThe way you ended your blog was powerful and you shared a necessary message. Not fully expressing ourselves is not only irritating for others, but it is detrimental to ourselves too. I appreciate how you added “meaning what we say” to remind us not to seem certain about our thoughts but rather believe our choices and ideas on a stronger level.
Hi, Anshina! I love how you managed to include these one-word paragraphs! This new, almost choppy style of writing really captures the short, piecemeal nature of conversations between people our age. I also appreciate how you establish your intense disdain for the word “sure” with the narrative. I’ve always attributed “sure” not as a form of indifference, but as an expression of awkwardness that everyone has. I think its a result of being afraid of everyone’s perceptions, trying to prevent any negative view of yourself. At least for me personally, I don’t really use the word with people I’m familiar with, only with somewhat unfamiliar people. I find it really interesting that you interpret the word “sure” as an escapism of sorts, since it definitely is a form of escapism.
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ReplyDeleteI love the formatting of your entry this week! Separating the dialogue and your own spiraling thoughts into separate paragraphs adds a feeling of anxiety to your blog, which I enjoyed reading.
ReplyDeleteBeing the person who carries a relationship is so emotionally taxing. Frankly, if these people aren’t willing to put in the effort, the best thing to do is walk away; you deserve friends that genuinely care. And I’ll never understand nonchalant people. Like, what happened to having a personality and giving more than one-word answers to people’s questions? Not to mention, nonchalant people are just limiting themselves. If the only thing you do all day is shuffle around in baggy pants and act mysterious, how would you make friends and build valuable connections? The math ain’t mathing!
Anshina I really really enjoyed reading your blog this week. It was a very interesting read as well as a very relatable read as I also hate the use of the word “sure".” I never thought about it the way you explored in your blog but I completely agree with you that it is very disrespectful and I think that it is part of this new wave of nonchalance that is spreading over our generation. Why don’t people like to answer with the “yes” or “no” anymore? Why can’t the world have some aspects that are just binary? Why does everything have to operate in the grey? I also was very interested when I read the part about how you explored the power dynamic that the world surely holds in a relationship and I completely agree with you. People really need to stop saying sure because it not only shows that our generation doesn’t know how to think or make decisions but the broader implications of this are very detrimental in the long term because if we are unable to figure out how to be upfront and honest with each other and more importantly ourselves the future is not looking very bright. Please keep hating the word “sure” and who knows maybe one day we will finally rid ourselves of having to listen to people respond with “sure”.
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