Annie Zhu - Q1 Blog #3 - Dramatic Identity Crisis

 “Hey, I’m an artist!” 

It’s the first thing I tell people about myself, the easiest and most obvious thing to share. Artist is a title I can always rely on because I have always been one. From high-heeled stick figures to large canvas paintings of fruit, the dreams of my mind's eye have never failed me.


However, as I traversed my way through high school (especially sophomore year), I found myself almost instantly dropping all of my creative endeavors. I quit classes, I stopped using my sketchbooks, and I couldn’t even bring myself to finish new drawings anymore.

Not making art was horrible, yet I was so caught up with the rest of my life—schoolwork, socializing, stressing myself out, and all the other things a teenager would be concerned with—to notice. Only when I started writing personal statements (hooray for the enchanting world of summer applications!) did I realize just how much I had compromised this core part of me. 


What is something unique about you that you’d like us to know?

“Art. Creativity.” 

Gosh, I was a fraud, boasting art as my biggest accomplishment while simultaneously being unable to create at all, sketchbooks rotting away like tired dust.

And then I would look back, Open Them up to try drawing something again. Alas, my art skills would painfully remain stuck at the same level as ninth-grade me; was I even good at it anymore?



The thing about not making art is that I am unfulfilled. No longer subconsciously doodling on my homework or imagining what my next acrylic piece will look like—it’s the little things that make me feel like I’m becoming a totally different person.


I don’t really know that I can sustainably find time to create given how busy I have been lately. Still, it is the last thing I would sacrifice about myself: art is a huge continuity in my life, and the fact that it makes me happy is more than enough for me to keep pursuing it.


Image Source: MisterSpectacular

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47761506/

Comments

  1. Lemon TsuprykSeptember 29, 2025 at 12:45 PM

    Making art is a big part of my identity too, to the point where there is rarely a day when I don’t draw anything (not even a little doodle in the margins of my homework). “Art” is a very loose concept, so I wonder why not many people confidently call themselves artists?
    Either way, school and quality time with family and friends do take a lot of time away from drawing during the school year, and I know there is a guilt that comes with not improving constantly because of it, but in order to make things an artist draws on their personal experiences so it can actually make your art more rich with purpose if you take a break from making it and focus on living life. Just, speaking as one artist to another.
    Good job with your blog, though! Also, is there a particular reason you chose an image of Megamind for your blog (I have never seen the movie and am only aware of the character through online spaces)?

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  2. Shari VaidyaOctober 1, 2025 at 5:48 PM

    Hi Annie! I just want to say I love the picture you chose for your post! I love Megamind, and I think that movie is hilarious! I feel like, as we get older, the things that we once loved to spend every second doing just do not fulfill us the same anymore. I experienced the same thing when I used to edit. It sucks, but unfortunately, it tends to happen as we get busier (not that I agree with the amount of work we get stifling our creative endeavours). I encourage you to try and rediscover your passion for art, or even rediscover a new passion! I’m pretty sure that it is scientifically proven that hobbies help enhance our brains.

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  3. Abraham YeungOctober 1, 2025 at 7:13 PM

    I love the Megamind photo, Annie! I think it reflects the identity crisis reflected in the movie, and that really matches well with the topic of your blog (Also Megamind is also just great in general. While I think the mood that you conveyed when you talked about putting “Art” as a skill in your summer application was something close to dismay and disappointment, I feel that if you’ve done something enough already, it doesn’t matter how good you are at it currently, it can go onto an application if you feel it is important to you. Also, I agree with Lemon’s comment that art is a very loose concept–the important thing is that you feel proud of your work. If you feel that expressing your creativity is enough to make you happy, feel free to do so! No one is going to judge you.

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