Blog Q1 Week 1 - Shari Vaidya - This One’s For All My Mean Girls
It’s a chilly November morning, and I’m walking to school with my national anthem on repeat in my ears. No, the national anthem I’m referring to is not the Star-Spangled Banner; I’m referring to the thirteenth track on Charli xcx’s album BRAT, Mean Girls.
For the past year and a half, I have been on the journey of self-discovery, a journey that humans must take twice to become the person they truly want to be. I’m grateful for two things that I discovered during this journey: an eyebrow razor and Charli xcx’s sixth album, BRAT.
I have been a fan of Charli xcx long before BRAT. I was such a big fan of her work that I dragged a friend to San Jose to listen to this album before it came out. One song in particular spoke to me, and that song was Mean Girls.
I am going to say it: by society’s standards, I am considered to be a mean girl. I am opinionated, I am not afraid of confrontation, and no matter what the occasion is, I tend to wear a perpetual grimace on my face. I think back to this one incident in sophomore year; I was going to get food with some friends, and when I was alone in line, a man told me to “lighten up and smile.” I proceeded to laugh in his face and told him to “worry about your own smile” and left him to it.
I think that xcx has created an anthem of self-confidence and self-assurance with this song. I cling to the line “Think you already know her, but you don’t” (Aitchison, 0:35). I cling to this specific line because I have made peace with the fact that people have, and will continue to make, the preconceived notion that I am a mean girl. I couldn't care less about how these people think of me because they don’t know me! I am what Charli xcx would describe as a mean girl, a brat if you will. I may not be in my mid-20s, but I think that I’m really intelligent, I have a razor-sharp tongue, and I worship Lana Del Rey in my AirPods.
It’s not only the lyrics that I hold close to my heart. I feel more strongly about the instrumental than I do the lyrics themselves, especially the piano break that acts as a lead-in to xcx’s choppy electronic vocals. I can feel myself being transported to 702, weaving through the bodies, trying to get everyone’s makeup done before 4:30. The piano riff serves as my slice of 702 when I’m away, the choppy and heavily autotuned vocals of xcx reminding me of the stress and ecstasy I feel during these two-week periods. The piano riff serves as a reminder of my family, my fellow diligent crew members, and the ever-talented cast.
The inherent act of being a “mean girl” is feminist; you are actively going against what society wants you to be: submissive, agreeable, and polite. You are telling the patriarchy that your value is not tied to your consumability; you are going to be the mean girl, or if you were the opposite sex, an “alpha male.” If you have been labeled a mean girl, wear that label with pride, because that means you are living without the bounds of the patriarchy.
Photo by ediepittwater on Pinterest
https://whynow.co.uk/read/brat-review-charli-xcx-showcases-modern-womanhood-at-its-messiest
https://www.nme.com/news/music/charli-xcx-on-being-influenced-by-julian-casablancas-daft-punk-and-the-nyc-dance-scene-3800809
Hi Shari, I thought your first blog entry was incredibly bold and refreshingly unapologetic. I admired how you connected with Charli XCX's BRAT album (my favorite song is Sympathy is a knife) to your own journey of self discovery. I especially liked you how redefined the term mean girl, as I have definitely been on the receiving end of the label myself, it was nice to see it labeled as something empowering rather than derogatory. I appreciate your honesty in sharing your own stories and it was empowering to see you stand up for yourself. I admire your confidence thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteTelling people that your national anthem is a song by Charli xcx is honestly such a power move! A lot of people struggle to truly be themselves because of fear of being judged, so I applaud you for living your truth. Plus, “Mean Girls” is much more interesting to me than “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The mean girls you speak of—people that are not actually rude but rather unfairly deemed mean by society—are icons and trailblazers.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I genuinely laughed out loud when I read your line about putting that guy in his place for telling you to “smile more.” I really hate when people say that. We are human beings: we are meant to be experienced (the good, bad, and the ugly), not just to look at in search of a pretty smile! Down with the patriarchy!
I really like how you chose a theme of self-discovery and unabashed sincerity for your post, it makes sense for the first identity blog! I relate to your sense of determination when forsaking gender expectations, though we may have different methods (unlike your acceptance of the ‘mean girl’ label, I have ended up rejecting gender altogether). I think your choice of subject is also very interesting, from what I have seen online the album cover too is a rejection of the norm, from the solid background of a less than pleasant color to the basic font to the lowercase letters, no doubt done intentionally. When I have some time I might even listen to it myself!
ReplyDeleteShari, I think it’s amazing that you’ve been able to discover yourself over the past year: I think that’s one part of adolescence that many of us ignore. The only thing I know about Charli xcx was her song “Apple”, and that too only because my sister was absolutely obsessed with it for at least 2 months (that’s saying something considering her attention span): don’t tell my sister but I think apple was actually pretty good. I know you intended to show how you tend to wear a grimace on your face but the story you told had the opposite effect on me, I laughed for a straight minute after reading your blog! If you’re okay with me saying it, you’re definitely a really nice person from what I could tell in just my first week! (holy glaze but it’s true)
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