Harshi Pannala Q1 #1: Thanks, That Helps
I have been hearing the phrase “life’s not fair” more often lately. It pops up when someone loses their Fortnite match or when my sister eats the last donut. What is the purpose of the saying though? It’s supposed to be some universal truth, but the way we use it feels off.
Take a trivial matter. For example, getting assigned a buttload of homework. I complain about the homework marathon ahead of me, but only receive the words “well, life isn’t fair” - great pep talk. Newsflash! I’m only going to be more upset and sour. Plus, small issues like these don’t truly define whether my life is unfair. Hearing this phrase only invites me to sulk over these matters longer. Honestly, in times like these it feels more like an excuse to shut down the conversation instead of listening.
In bigger moments, the phrase only takes on a more frustrating tone. When something genuinely upsetting happens but it is out of my control, the last thing I want to hear is “life’s not fair.” It doesn’t comfort me. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m still hurt, or sad, or disappointed. All it does is make me feel hopeless, like unfairness is permanent and all I can do is accept it.
Yes, it is true that life isn’t always fair. I’m not denying that. However, saying it out loud or to counter a situation doesn’t add any value. It doesn’t encourage action. It doesn’t ignite growth. It doesn’t leave room for empathy. Instead, it’s a way of brushing off the weight of someone’s experience. Regardless of how inconsequential or life-altering an event is, it still deserves to be heard.
Personally, a large part of me is shaped by how I’ve handled these so-called unfair situations. If I were to just accept that my life isn’t fair, then I’m letting the phrase dictate who I am: powerless. By rejecting it and pushing for better, I’m choosing an identity that doesn’t work around the feeling of hopelessness. Maybe life truly isn’t fair, but maybe repeating it doesn’t do anything except remind us of what we already know.
I love the ending of your blog! I also hate the term of "life isn't fair" as well, I think this is prevelant in many immigrant families, as they are so used to having the odds against them and they feel like if they were able to persevere, then someone else can as well. Obviously that is not the case, but your stance on handling these tough situations and talking about how you can not let yourself be powerless is a great representation of hope and determination pushing through! Best of luck for this year!
ReplyDeleteI really resonate with your frustration at “life is unfair.” The thing I would want to hear most when I’m feeling sad or desolate is that everything will be okay, not that the world is designed for people like me to fail. Definitely, take back your power! Getting stuck in the same horrible situation without trying anything new is a surefire way to repeat history. People that took back their power were the ones that ignited revolutions, leaving a lasting impact on the world. Not to mention, “life is unfair” is just a stupid thing to say. Why is it unfair? Do we get a lot of homework because our teachers have an expectation for juniors to take on heavier workloads? I should get to know why I’m suffering rather than just justifying it with a phrase that doesn't solve, explain, or promote anything…sigh…
ReplyDeleteBTW, I also use a digital calendar to schedule my work (mine is Google Calendar). My time blocks are pastel-colored just like yours!
The tone you went with for your post is very compelling, especially in your second paragraph! “Life’s not fair” is such a trite saying which a lot of older people seem to use to shut down the concerns of those younger and more ‘naive’ than them. But I agree that it is not very productive and quite defeatist, whether or not it is coming from an adult or a peer. It would be great if so many people didn’t feel the need to fall back on the phrase.
ReplyDeleteHarshi, I really love how you explored how such a simple phrase can affect our lives. The examples you gave were so relatable and I could feel the edges of my mouth curl into a smile as I was reading your blog because of how prevalent this topic is in my day to day life. The way you acknowledged that life is not fair, and I think it is really admirable how the unfairness of life has shaped you, it is not easy to weather the storms that life throws at you. It takes a very mature perspective to recognize that life is not fair, yet you do not let it deter you. The picture you included at the bottom of your post whether or not it was meant to be humorous definitely got a little laugh out of me: since it is a clear glimpse into my future.
ReplyDeleteHarshi, I absolutely hate the phrase “life’s not fair” too, but my sister turned the tables on me by saying “ok then I’ll make life fair by taking the bigger room”. I really like your growth mindset, and I think we all need to have it to improve ourselves every day. My favorite way of dealing with a buttload of homework is…you guessed it! I’ve won galaxy-level awards for procrastination, but at the end of the day I do get it done…even if it’s submitted at 11:59:59 :). I love the calendar in the image! I’m so unorganized, I really need to get an online one for myself too, thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete